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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?